Sitting up on her own and standing up with the assistance of the crib’s railings are some skills Zoei discovered a couple of weeks ago. And because of this, putting her to sleep has been a challenge. We even wake up in the middle of the night with her standing already, banging her pacifier on the wooden part of the crib. She knows how to attract attention.

Until Zoei’s yaya discovered a potent lullaby; Lady Gaga.

Her favorites are Bad Romance and Love Game. Whenever she hears these songs, she quickly falls asleep. Sometimes she even sleeps to No body But You.

I wonder what kind of subconscious side effects these songs are doing to her.

I love me some Swiss Miss, especially on rainy days like this. I just want to go home, wear my comfy clothes and watch TV with a mug of warm Swiss Miss. No Marshmallows for me okay? 

Though, I have to tell you, I wasn’t always a marshmallow hater. There was a time swore off the yummy drink. I was in highschool back then and I always drink a mug before going to school. There was this one time, when I was so sleepy, I opened a pack and poured the contents into a mug before pouring hot water. I stirred the chocolate drink for a while together with the marshmallows and minutes later, I was set.

After consuming half a mug, I realized that I wasn’t really paying attention while I prepared the drink. Instead of marshmallows, the white bits floating around were actually maggots. I raced outside the house trying to delay the vomit that was building up until I puked to my heart’s content. After that unfortunate day, I swore I would never drink Swiss Miss ever again. 

Until a couple of years ago when I found out that there was a variant without marshmallows when I started to pick up the habbit again. 

 Now, I am a Swiss Miss person again, sans the marshmallows. 

I know you guys don’t care much for Grey’s Anatomy but you’ve got to hand it to those drunk writers who said, “fuck it, there’s too many characters in this show. Let’s have a fucking shooter in the hospital who hates surgeons and let him roam around shooting these drama queens/kings. Then let him kill himself at the end”.

And a writer, who totally hates Meredith goes,  “make that damn whore miscarry while performing a damn operation on one of her colleagues who got fucking shot.”

Then, they all high-fived and drank some more beer.

She could finish a small bottle in a day and she’d be completely happy laughing and dancing while consuming the bottled food. Interestingly though, after tasting most of the pureed vegetables and fruits, we bought her another variant - Broccoli. And you know what?

She hates it with a passion of a thousand burning suns. I’m not kidding. Kids, I think, are genetically wired to hate Broccoli. Well, that or she just takes after her mom and swore the good fight against this type of vegetable.

Oh, by the way, she loves squash.  

I have to say that Dragon Age: Origins was one of the best games of 2009 hands down. And I guess one of the reasons why this game was such a hit was because of the epic battle trailer BioWare released. Let us savor that moment again by watching the video, please?

Did you see that spectfuckacular jaw dropping trailer? The minute I watched that, I had to run to the bathroom and change pants, And because I peed myself so much I had to drink gatorade to prevent the onset of dehydration. But fuck it, it was well worth it!

After more than I year, I’m back with i.ph, my friends, so pass out the beer roast those pigs, fire up the grill and bring in the ladies because I’m here to stay! 

It’s been months since my other blog fell into a coma, then, into purgatory and now that I don’t know when it’s coming back. But until then, I’m here to stay! This is not bad of course, this place rocks!

So stay tuned and let’s see what kind of a train wreck I could conjure up here!

I have something to tell you guys which I know you won’t believe. I almost can’t believe it myself until I craved for it earlier today when I saw a kid got trampled by a tricycle. Don’t worry, the kid survived and she was still able to stand up. I see that a lot these days, kids getting hit by moving vehicles, I’m just glad it wasn’t me on the driver seat.

I’m sorry, I rambled. Anyway let’s cut to the chase; observed the photo below.

limp but yummeh

OMG! It’s my last stick of Marlboro lights! Yeah, you read it right. I do declare that as of today, I quit smoking! It’s for my wife and my future kid. After all these years of smoking and making the tobacco industry flourish with my one pack a day consumption of that gorgeous and fragrant cigarette, I’ve finally called quits.

This is actually my first attempt to quit the leaf; I can see Bob Marley up in the skies looking down upon me, his eyes full of grief and sorrow. Although, I know he was lighting a totally different kind of leaf. I’m sorry Mr. Marley. I still think your music is the coolest.

I do believe that as my first attempt, I have to make this the best one ever. As I’m writing this, my chest is getting tighter, my lungs contracting and my hands are shaking. I want to smoke. But you know what? I won’t smoke. Yes, I will not give in. I will stay here in my room and fight this awful withdrawal with my weapons of choice.

balikbayan box chocolates FTW

Chocolates and sweets! I know, I know. I won’t die from lung cancer, but I will die from an also slow and painful death of diabetes with all these crap. Next week is going to be a hard and pretty long week for me.

The withdrawal stage hasn’t really kicked in yet. I just hope it’s not as bad as I’ve heard from my wife. She’s suffering right now, insomia, diarrhea, crankiness and all sorts of symptoms. It’s all going to happen to me. Stay tuned for my withdrawal post next week! Dun! DUN! DUNN!!

I know what you’re going to say, I change blogs as often as I change my underwear - once a year. No wait, that didn’t sound right. I’m like an obese drunk middle aged guy from work in a cool party starved for attention. “Let’s go guys! I don’t want to work, I just want to party!” (Rips off jogging pants) tugss-tugss-tugss.

Okay, that still didn’t sound right. If you rummage through the pages, you’d notice that most of the entries here were from my original blog. Why? because I said so here. Although the page is still kinda broken. I brokenated it for some reason, it’s hard to admit it but I’m a WP ignoramus. Although you’d have to say this is an amazing layout and it’s an awesome set up, I really can’t take any credit for it. It’s been magically altered by Ea Raymundo in exchange for some type of smelly paper we call money. I wanted to ask her if I could pay through sexual favors but at the back of my mind, I don’t think my wife would agree to such a deal.

I’m not scared of my wife FYI. I’m actually terrified. Imagine a machine gun as a leg of pregnant woman with unstable first trimester hormones riding behind a bike counting down the seconds until she starts to open fire while you’re naked trying to run away with nothing else but your dear life. That’s a nightmare right there.

Something like this

Oh yeah, my wife is pregnant! After being married for one and a half years I’ve finally knocked her up. See, for the longest time, we were trying to have an offspring, but with my genetically altered sperm swimming against the current and not along with it. It was kinda hard for them to unlearn what they trained so hard for - not to get someone pregnant. At least finally some swimmers were smart enough to go against my teaching and voila! Good times here we come!

Don’t get me wrong now, I’m really excited, I can finally do my best Dark Vader impression to my own son.

Imma gonna rent a darth vader suit i swear

Also, yes you’ve noticed I keep referring to my chiled as a male off spring. I’m hoping for a male. Someone who I can name Victorino because he’s a Valentine’s day baby. I wonder how he’ll react 15 to 20 years from now when he finds out how much his name sucks. And I know he’s going to be born along with the other kids created during Valentine’s Day.

Though if ever we are blessed with a female instead, I’d still love and accept her. You know what I’m really hoping for? That she’d be the first baby to be born with mutant abilities. I want her to have telekinetic powers so I can name her Emma Frost Ramos That would be so awesome!

My daughter Emma Frost Ramos

Oh and I won’t mind it if she wear those skimpy outfits, she’ll just melt the brain of the guys who’s mentally jerking off  to her awesome bod.

I just hope my wife won’t name  our kid Edward(if it’s a boy) or Bella(if it’s a girl). She’s really crushing on Edward(Robert Pattinson) There was this one time, she watched Twilight three times in one day. Just imagine that?! Maybe somehow my wife willed the pregnancy through the thought of Robert Pattinson. It’s like an absentee insemination or something.

Son is that you?

Imagine having a vampire as a kid? That would be scary. Although if his body shined like diamonds in the sun then that would mean big money! Big money I tells ya!

So to recap, I’m wearing a Darth Vader suit while I have a machine gun wielding pregnant wife, Emma Frost as my telekinetic daughter and Edward as my vampire son. That would be so weird and awesome at the same time!  

Undergoing MyBlogLog Verification

Eternal vigilance is the price of liberty.

A smart dude said that, I just can’t remember who. But that’s how I feel today. I haven’t been very vigilant these past few weeks especially with what I put into my body. I’ve gained a considerable amount of mass for the past two months, from as low as 196lbs; I’m back to 108lbs. I hate it so much right now that I’m continuing the diet update blog series. So voila!

You’re asking the monitor right now, what the freaking hell happened? I can name three things.

1. Food consumption has gone up, including rice and beer. My two worst enemies! After the holiday season there was a lot of meetings and conferences. Heck, I have already scheduled two drinking sessions this week.
2. Another reason is the lack of badminton buddies. Sure we used to play two to three times a week. It was awesome, the pain, sweat and injuries. But now, one has a new restaurant, the other a new boyfriend and the other well, a new life. So I need people to play with!!
3. Depression. You know me, I am weak. First sign of depression I open up the fridge, fire up the stove and consume as much food and alcohol I possibly can. Quoting fat bastard: I eat because I’m depressed. I’m depressed because I eat. Or something to that effect.

I have to attack the problem methodically. Last time, a surprise crash diet worked because my body wasn’t ready for the pain and suffering. Right now, I have to take it slow. I will start the diet by cutting down on alcohol and rice then, a constant barrage of stationary bikes and push ups. I may not be able to smash cock ever again but the past is the past and I have to let that part of me go.

I must move on.