Well for me, I have found this so-called invention and I am here to share it with all of you. Ladies and Gentlemen, I have finally found it, the best invention ever created by man is…

The Booger Picker.

The Booger Picker

Before your violent reactions, please let me explain. The booger picker is a work of wonder.

In the field of science, plagues have spread far and wide and I’m not talking about the dark ages. I am talking about past and present and probably future epidemics, because of man’s greatest weakness; picking boogers manually with our bare skin. Yes, it is greatly overlooked but we all know those elevator buttons in our apartments and offices can never be as clean as we want them, nor the handle bars in the MRT, nor the door knob at our home. The booger picker replaces our fingers unknowingly stopping the epidemic instantly.

In society, imagine a world where we can display media players and cellular phone with built-in booger pickers. Imagine the convenience  when the urge to pick your nose would not include running to the nearest comfort room. Imagine a world where booger picking becomes a community activity. Instead of teenagers whispering about first and second base, they will be talking about who picked whose booger. What a damn fine place that would be.

In work, Imagine Pilots distracted by the booger while flying an aircraft. Imagine surgeons performing brain surgery while a booger banging inside their nostrils. Imagine how much productivity the booger picker can save companies. Inflation will definitely go down. Prices would be lowered and the economic down turn will end.

And that is just a fraction of what the booger picker can do. So join me, help me spread the word by chanting this phrase to everybody you know:

Booger Picking with the Booger Picker  is not Taboo! Booger Picking with the Booger Picker is not Taboo!

Power to the booger picker. Peace!

Hey there, it’s been a while, huh?  I haven’t seen much of you lately and I have to admit, I kind of miss you.

I guess we’re both very busy now, you, with your successful career and me with my new angel, Zoei. Remember a little over a month ago we usually hang out ever single night for at least six to eight hours a day?  We usually just chill in my bed with the AC turned on and we’d chat and stare at each other all day. You’d usually laugh out loud when you hear me snore and smile when I completely surrender to your embrace.

Usually though you leave in the middle of the night and I stand up because I have to urinate and drink a glass of water and I do this courageously because deep in my heart I know you’d return.

You always do.

Until now. We barely see each other and to those times we do see each other, we’re always in a hurry it’s like you don’t have time for me anymore, or is it the other way around? We don’t spend enough time together and although I know, it’s not hurting you; it’s been hurting me everyday. You’ve taken the life out of me, Sleep. I’m like a walking zombie without and I don’t know how long I’ll last like this. But I promise you this; I will never give up on you.

Sleep, all I want to say is that whatever happens, I’ll be here – waiting. I do hope that this rough patch we’re going through is just a phase. No, I don’t hope it. I believe it. Please come back to me.

Yours,

Joel

Ingredients:
Four large-sized pork chops
12 oz beer
1/4 onion. Sliced.
Salt and pepper to taste.

Preparation instructions:
Rub both sides of the pork chops with salt and pepper
Brown pork chops in a medium to high flame.

Turn the flame low then add 12 ounces of beer and the sliced onions.

Cover the pan, turning the chops a few times until the beer is almost gone. It will take about half an hour.

Serve.

I wonder if I could do this with bistek tagalog as well?

As a borderline premature baby, she was only 2.29 kg when she came out. She also made her mom labor for 14 hours and deliver normally. Something we both thought she could never do.

14 hours in this room is scary

I am so proud to be able to cut her umbilical cord and welcome her into our lives. Although the cord wrapped around her neck made her change color for a while. It wasn’t enough to put her into an incubator. I’m so proud, my daughter is already a fighter.

Zoei

Her birth marks a new beginning in our lives and to tell you honestly, I didn’t think I’d feel this way until I got to touch her and kiss her.

She truly is the best thing that has happened to us.

I guess the updated version of that tale has led us to the most popular social networking site, Facebook. We slave for hours trying to update our profiles and notifying others what we’re doing and what we’re posting which should be, but not all, entertaining/relevant/interesting stuff.

But just like in life, keeping our profiles clean reflects on us, on who we are and what kind of person we are really. I’ve seen profiles with tons of clutter like this one:

Ay Caramba!

Seriously, no one wants to know all that right? I mean, who cares? If I see another profile like this one I swear I’m going to mute/hide you at once! But there are ways you can clean up your time line. Although, I give crappy directions, come, let me show you it!

1. How to stop spamming your friends unknowingly

• Hover over Settings beside the log out button; hover don’t click.
• Click on Application Settings from the settings drop down menu.
• You’ll now see recently used applications.
• On the right hand side, there is a “Show” with a drop down box, click it.
• Pick “allowed to post” these are the apps that posts stuff on your wall.
• Choose an application then click Edit Settings.
• Click on the additional Permissions tab.
• Then finally remove the check on the box that says publish activity.

Voila! People will now respect you more because they won’t see accepting Care bear’s mail anymore Yay!

Not Mine I swear

2. How to secure your privacy in Facebook.

Don’t you just hate it when your stalker knows your every move? When your wife finds out you left a comment on your ex’s profile picture Or when your mom freaks out when she found out you joined a gay bikini group? How do they know all this? Well, it’s simple really.  Facebook’s default setting is that you’d be an open book and publish all your movements in your timeline. It sucks when your friend Priest reads that you’re now a fan of Maria Ozawa.

Tip: If you don't like something. Hide it!

But there is actually a way to crawl under your shell again. And because this has been a very long blog entry, I will now use pictures to help you get your privacy back.

Click to enlarge I guess.

Then…

I hate them Adverts

The Facebook advert is truly disgusting, they use you to help promote their products and ads to your friends. That’s just not right.

So there you have it! You now know how to clean up your facebook, please share this information with your friends and give all of us peace and quiet.

I will entertain questions after the coffee break.

]]> http://www.joelavatari.com/archives/338/feed 9 http://www.joelavatari.com/archives/329 http://www.joelavatari.com/archives/329#comments Sun, 27 Sep 2009 06:43:33 +0000 joelavatari http://www.joelavatari.com/?p=329 Imagine a month’s worth or rain fell in just six hours in Metro Manila yesterday causing horrific and apocalyptic floods we have never seen. Some would even say the amount of precipitation brought by Ondoy exceeded Katrina’s.

Ondoy's wrath

Blame it on Global warming, or the government or the garbage – I don’t care. But if this storm is an indication of the future storms the Philippines is going to have, then by all means, we must prepare.

Top view

But right now, we help each other rebuild. Here are some places where you can DONATE. You can also give donations to GMA foundation as well. Don’t worry I’m talking about the TV station and not the witch.

Like what Ade Magnaye did in his blog, I am linking MLQ3’s tumblr so people would know how to help.

With Bayanihan and acting as one Nation, we will get through this tragedy.

And while lying down, I was thinking how cool it would be if there’s a wordpress application for the iPhone/iPod touch. You won’t feel frustrated when an idea pops in your head and you don’t have anywhere else to write, right? So I grabbed the iPod touch and browsed through the app store and voilà! A wordpress app for the iPhone that I am using to type in this entry. We’ll see how this would look like tomorrow without any proof reading or editing considering I suck at English.

This is why I rated my facebook GP

So what else can I add to this filler of an entry except that it’s fucking ridiculous trying to write entry from this device?

Oh, I know. I just found out earlier that you can tag people in your facebook status now just by placing an “@ sign” before the name. My first attempt was a fail. I used the URL name after the @ sign and I found out that it doesn’t work that way.

I would have "liked" as well

All you have to do is press the @ sign then type in the first few letters of someones name until a list of contacts appear then click on the person you want to tag or press enter. That easy.

Score... not.

And if you use facebook lite, the thing would look like the bastard son of Twitter and plurk, uniform threaded messages with the ability to reply. The only downside now is you still can’t tag people in the comments area. Oh well, you really can’t have everything.

Posting images unrelated to your post is FUN!!!

Nice! mr. Sandman is here. I’m done. Goodnight!

EDIT: I added images I found from @shrubber’s plurk time line. These made my day and are the much needed LOLs for this boring, lifeless post.

]]> http://www.joelavatari.com/archives/322/feed 2 http://www.joelavatari.com/archives/309 http://www.joelavatari.com/archives/309#comments Tue, 01 Sep 2009 08:22:02 +0000 joelavatari http://www.joelavatari.com/?p=309 Oh hi there, “ber” months! You came as fast as a boy on Summer Glau would, didn’t you? I can’t believe we’re already at the home stretch of this life changing year – 2009. It’s so life changing that I can’t believe this will be the first Christmas we’re having with our baby, who until now, has no name (Closest name we agreed on was Zoe Maxine Bellatrix, nothing final yet).And because Christmas is just around the corner, here are some things I want to add to my Christmas 2009 WISH list!

Palm Pre

Yes, it’s the smart phone that will rival all the other smart phones in the market today. It runs on Palm OS and unofficial tests show that the Palm OS responds faster than the OS of the phone that has an I in front of it. Pardon me for not mentioning the brand; they have an abundant number of fan boys/girls that will troll you if you mention anything negative about their “godly” product.

Best. Phone. Ever.

But thanks to Sprint who signed an exclusive deal with Palm, The phone is now stuck in the USA unappreciated and unloved. Damn that Sprint, I don’t even work for a call center but they still managed to fuck up my plans. Watch more to appreciate.

Nokia N900

It’s the second phone in my wish list because that’s how I roll. Seriously though you got it all wrong, it’s not a phone, it’s a desktop computer. It’s just that your pockets are too big that the N900 can fit inside. That N900 is monster of a machine.

See? It's a giant desk top computer!

It will sell for 500euros or P35,000. I’d say that’s a steal and when I say steal I mean I can’t afford it and I’d better steal one instead. Kidding! Thirty five thousand for a desktop computer sounds about right don’t you think?

Beatles

On 09/09/09, digitally remastered versions of ALL the awesome Beatles albums will be released. Sweet! And as a huge Beatles fan, I WANT it! I shall have it! Though I’d consider buying one after my baby is born and I have extra cash. I love being a dad already.

Digitally Remastered! I mean Rockband Beatles

On the same note, the Beatles: Rockband will also be released on the same date. Blame it on the song Revolution 9. It’s the year of the Beatles baby and I’m psyched!

Nanny

You’re probably thinking, “You know what’s typical, Joel getting a hot nanny for his baby.” If you think I’m THAT shallow then I guess you know me too well… NOT! I’d get the best nanny for our baby and hands down, that would be Rosie from the Jetsons!

Rosie

Think about it, she will never tire and because of that mother instinct chip installed in her erm.. Mother board, she’d be the best nanny for our baby. Now, I just have to find a supplier. Wish me luck!

Hover board

I suck at roller blades so I want to try hover boarding instead. What? It’s not real? But it’s been recorded in history! There was one in 1855 and 1955 and another one in 1985 and I am sure it was already mass produced in 2015 so I bet it’s already out somewhere.

See? Hover boards are real!

Hover boarding across the streets of Singapore, now that’s fun.

Sony Vaio TT

Aside from the fact that it has in its name the Tagalog term for male genitals, it’s one of the most powerful compact laptops to date. It has a Blu-ray drive, 256 GB SSD, 2.87-pound weight and thickness under an inch. It also has an 11.1-inch, LED-backlit 16:9 LCD panel and an HDMI port that outputs at 1080p resolution.

I SRSLY have a hard on for the TT.. Wait.

The Sony Vaio TT is so pretty I could cry. Literally.

Power Shot G11

I drooled when I found out that the Canon Power Shot G11 is out. I know I just bought a camera and I know I promised not to buy any other camera, accessories, filters, etc, etc until such time that I actually have improved taking photos and/or when my D40 conks out.

Want so badly

And it’s relatively cheap. Suggested retail price is $500 or P25,000.

So there you have it folks! Stuff I want to buy for myself for Christmas. How about you? What are you planning to buy for Christmas?

<rant>

I feel like I’ve been neglecting this blog of mine for the longest time now. I haven’t been consistent with updates; at least not as much as I want to though everyone knows I have the time. You can blame it on my new toy or my lack of skills if you want.

Last night, I received a mail from go daddy asking me if I wanted to renew. With three more months before my domain expires, they gave me a sweet deal just so I can renew. I paused before pressing confirm. I didn’t know if I wanted to continue given that next year will be a circus with the baby coming and everything.

If I do succumb to the pressures of life, I wouldn’t be the first. Hopping from one blog to the next, I find myself rather lonely. Most of my friends aren’t updating their blogs anymore. Is this a sign that micro blogging is really now more convenient, or are we at the point in our lives where life is beginning to be too much already?

You know what? I don’t think I should let life take over just yet.

After much thought, I clicked confirm and renewed my domain for another year. I just have to promise myself that after the baby, the wife, the future work *crosses fingers*, and the photography *crosses other fingers* that I will still have the time to write articles (silly, retarded, personal – whatev) once in a while.

</rant>

]]> http://www.joelavatari.com/archives/304/feed 0 http://www.joelavatari.com/archives/300 http://www.joelavatari.com/archives/300#comments Tue, 11 Aug 2009 10:01:38 +0000 joelavatari http://www.joelavatari.com/?p=300 Hobby – I has it!

If you buy a brand new Palm Treo 680 today, it will cost around 24k bucks. That’s what my friend found out when he couldn’t wait and bought a unit from an authorized store a year ago. Around that same time, I couldn’t believe that they’re still selling old technology at that price so instead of buying a brand new unit, I got one from someone who already had it for a year and who wanted to upgrade to a newer model. So, I haggled for the price and after a few exchanges, voila! I got the Palm 680 basic kit with all the other extra accessories for a whopping 12k bucks, half of what my friend paid to get his unit. Presently, my unit looks newer than his unit just because I take care of my phone more. And yes I am talking about our phones you perv.

That idea came rushing back to me when I finally gave in and admitted I wanted a DSLR camera for myself. You see, I hated people who bring big ol’ cameras during gimmicks and inuman sessions. For me, it was ridiculous and shit. So I swore off DSLR’s until now.

Nikon D40

Instead of buying a brand new Nikon D40 for 26k, I went to the internets and found someone selling a unit. I bough his one year old camera with two batteries, a remote control and a camera bag for… wait for it… 13k bucks! Actually it could have been more weren’t not for our failing currency. A friend also bought a camera back home, after telling him how much I spent for this camera, he wouldn’t tell me how much he bought his. So yay for me!

Playing with the light

I’ve really been practicing and studying how to take awesome pictures but I have to say it again, I have a new found respect for photographers. What they’re doing is not easy. Like what I said in my plurk, I have to use both sides of my brain at the same time. That rarely happens before. But in photography, you have to use your right side to be as creative as possible while using the left side, to know what setting to use and to judge and measure lighting etc. It literally gave me a nosebleed.

One of the main reason why I bought a camera is for the coming baby. We’re on our third trimester, the home stretch. I want to be ready with the camera when she gets born. Just like me when I was a kid, I had a lot of pictures. In a way it gave me sense and a feeling of belonging. Something I want my kid to have as well.

Yeah, I know I still suck

If you’re wondering where I store my photos, they’re in my flickr account. Feel free to roam around. Add me if you have a flickr account as well.

Before I end this monotonous blog entry, I have a confession. I was so excited with the camera that I bought a freaking wrong polarizing filter. So if you have a camera with a 58mm lens, I’d give you the filter no strings attached! Damn it. I say to you now lucky, never again will I let you cheat me in your plaza! Never again!